Home 
Opinion Backing up to go forward
Backing up to go forward
|
“Ze pain! Ze pain!” Tattoo would holler as a planeload of guests arrived at “Fantasy Island.” OK, so TV was kinder and gentler in the 1970s and early 1980s. Everyone older than 40, though, knows what Hervé Villechaize was talking about. If you’re like me, your back goes out more often than you do. It’s part of the pings and knocks of adulthood. Being financially challenged, not to mention as handy as a Gecko, I bought a door for $6 at a local store benefitting Habitat for Humanity. The door was to replace one that had been chewed to shreds by Cade. My former Belgian terv sidekick once resided in the World’s Largest Doghouse and now lives on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, where there is considerably more wood to shred. If the construction project goes awry, even with my friendly neighbors’ assist, I’ll be out only $6 and a bucket of sweat. I had only moved the door a few feet from my car when my back went into wrenching spasms. It’s then I remembered that I was as old as dirt. I also remembered the planned obsolescence concept. The body is an amazing instrument, most times. But occasionally it feels like a car part designed to break down just as soon as the warranty expires. But at least now, I have the Wonder Woman in my life to care about me, love me and encourage me to have some cheese with that whine. Thermal wraps, stretching, hot tubs and Ibuprofen have eased the pain. Taking pills is the American way, and we need to do what we can to help the U.S. retain its title as the world’s biggest drug consumer. I’m of the firm belief, however, that some pings and knocks of adulthood can be prevented. Climbing onto the soapbox hurts. But climb on I must, if only to suggest that we tax bad food choices like we now tax gas, tobacco and alcohol. Before you string me up as a lunatic, here in a state where the sales tax has gone down nine times, and where tax proponents are often asked how many feathers they want with their tar, hear me out. First, poor food choices lead to higher health care costs. Second, one in five Americans is obese. Anxiously aging baby boomers are getting fatter at exponential rates, as are our health care costs. Taking better care of ourselves, while it may not guarantee a longer life, could give us a higher quality of life — and quicker recovery from the pings and knocks. In school we learn math and science, maybe even how to drive. But few of us learn how to put together a healthy meal or snack. Few of us learn how to balance carbohydrates, proteins, fats and Ding-Dongs. Some of us end up using food as a drug to anesthetize ourselves. The result? Millions of sagging butts — the only thing America has more of than lawyers and plastic surgeons. The bigger point is, life is not always a bowl of cherries. But with someone like the Wonder Woman who cares, who knows sometimes we have to back up to go forward, it can still be sweet. “Smiles everyone. Smiles,” the white-suited Ricardo Montalbon — aka Mr. Rourke — said as he encouraged the “Fantasy Island” crew to greet the new guests. I’ll smile, Rourke, just as soon as I check to see if my warranty has expired.
|
