Out of synch

I’m surrounded by large numbers and it’s driving me crazy.

It started when my blasted old clock radio alarm began failing. I would set the alarm for 5:30 a.m. It would go off at 5:30 p.m.

Being so out of synch, though, has advantages. For one, I was dreaming more during the daytime. And the more awake dreams a person has — even the crazy ones — the more the odds of some coming true.

Fortunately, when the alarm failed to go off at 5:30 a.m., I had set my internal alarm to go off the same morning. I arrived at work before the extremely important where-to-go-for-lunch discussions began.

The alarm failed to go off again the next day. Being a contemplative type, I contemplated throwing the contraption.

With help from a friend, though, I calmed down. We figured out that when the power last went out, I had set the clock for 4 a.m. when it was 4 p.m.

Because it was not the clock’s fault, but the operator’s, I purchased a new clock.

Sure, the old clock had served me well. But it reminded me of when my late wife’s health began going downhill, her eyesight failing, and I was ready for a new start.

The store, though, despite having something for everyone with a credit card, had few clock radios. I purchased the one with the most artistic design. That is my mission, now — to surround myself with functional art. I think the Wonder Woman — aka my girlfriend and a graphic artist — would approve. The bright red teapot, striped chopping block and silver blender are all testimony to this new passion.

Only when I got the new clock home, though, did I find it had numbers the size of chihuahuas. It is the Big Ben of radio clock alarms. The numbers glow with the intensity of a deer’s eyes in the headlights.

Everywhere I go, it seems, I am surrounded by numbers. Some numbers are inspiring, as in 60, the miles per hour Sarah Will skied to win a world championship for the U.S. Disabled Ski Team.

Some numbers are brutal, as in 46, the hours the average American spends each year stuck in traffic.

Some numbers are sad. One in five Americans is obese.

There are two points. The first is, don’t wait for a mechanical error to dream more when you are awake. The second point is, even word people can enjoy some numbers, such as 240,000. That, through the miracle of eyesight, is the number of miles we see when looking at the moon, and beyond.

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