Speaker heightens domestic violence awareness

The sister of a woman whose murder set off a worldwide furor in 1994 carried a very clear message to people attending this week’s first Rural Institute on Child Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence: Don’t turn a blind eye to domestic violence.

Denise Brown, the sister of Nicole Brown Simpson, spoke for nearly an hour at the Blue Mountain Conference Center Monday night, ending with a plea for heightened awareness.

“There are people out there who don’t know about the cycle of domestic violence. Let’s teach them,” she said.

O.J Simpson was charged with the crimes in a spectacular trail that dominated headlines around the world, and was found not guilty. Later, in civil court, he was found liable for the deaths. After the murders, Denise Brown became an active campaigner against domestic violence.

Tuesday, a crowd of about 50 people, mostly women, listened as Brown told her sister’s story, never mentioning the accused killer by his name. Brown did not address O.J. Simpson’s guilt or innocence, but left no doubt that her sister lived in an abusive relationship.

Brown said she and her siblings enjoyed an idyllic childhood in Southern California, and that she and Nicole were especially close.

Nicole wanted to be a photographer, and made up her mind to study at a prestigious school in Los Angeles. She did, but photography was just a hobby after she met Simpson in 1977.

“Her life changed. The only thing she wanted was this relationship. He was her knight in shining armor,” Brown said.

Brown, who lived in New York at the time her sister met Simpson, recalled traveling to a football game in Buffalo to meet Nicole’s new love. There, she got a preview of things to come.

Brown said that Simpson, down on the field, pointed out Nicole to a teammate. At that moment, Nicole was talking to a friend she hadn’t seen in a long time. The friend gave her a kiss.

After the game, in front of Brown and others, Simpson threw a fit. The scene, as recalled by Brown, was extremely ugly.

“All hell broke loose,” she said. “That was my introduction to her boyfriend. Wow, usually when you go to meet the girlfriend’s family, you’re on your best behavior. He just didn’t care.”

Brown said that over the next few years she witnessed several such incidents. According to her, the football player became more violent with each one.

She said that during a trip to Hawaii, Nicole received a beating after she allowed a gay man to kiss one of the Simpsons’ children. Nicole hid the bruises and pretended that everything was fine, Brown said.

The arguments, according to Brown, were usually patched up by the giving of expensive gifts. Brown said she did not know it at the time, but the gift-giving was a part of a cycle that includes building tension, an explosion, then a “honeymoon” period in which the batterer tries to make amends.

“I didn’t know it was the cycle of domestic violence. I just thought she was crazy and he was crazy. I thought, ‘How can you live with someone like that?’”

In 1992, Nicole filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Then on June 12, 1994, she and Goldman were stabbed to death.

“On June 12, my life turned around. It was turned upside down. My sister was murdered,” Brown said.

Since then Brown has dedicated her life to domestic violence awareness. She said that after the killings she researched the issues, visiting shelters and prisons, talking to battered women and batterers alike.

She established the Nicole Brown Foundation to assist victims of domestic violence. She raises money for shelters and fights for funding for government programs.

She asked people Tuesday to keep in mind that domestic violence is not a crime that happens only to the poor. She said her sister is a case in point.

“It took my sister’s life to make people realize it doesn’t just happen to the poor and homeless,” she said.

A question and answer period followed Brown’s talk. One woman in the crowd asked what people can do to stop domestic violence.

“The important thing is to grab somebody who doesn’t know about domestic violence and tell them. Everybody needs to take a stand,” she said.

The First Rural Institute on Child Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence was held at the conference center Monday and Tuesday and was sponsored by the Mount Emily Safe Center.

Breakout sessions included talks by social service workers, law enforcement and court personnel, and more.

A keynote address was delivered by Gina McCabe, a nationally-known writer whose book, “What if I Tell,” covers childhood sexual abuse.