>La Grande Observer | Union and Wallowa Counties' News Leader

Ah, summertime. For many of us summer means long, lazy days, barbeques, swimming, vacations. For many more it means negotiating the business of visits with stepparents, step-siblings and stepchildren.

Nearly 1 million children yearly experience the divorce of their parents; 1,300 new stepfamilies are forming every day.

The stepfamily is the family of the new millennium. There are now more stepfamilies than original or nuclear families.

Approximately two thirds of these families will also fail. Children are seriously affected by these family breakdowns. Many of these children will experience persistent academic, social, emotional, financial and relationship difficulties as a direct result of family breakdown.

So what's the good news? Most of the problems stepfamilies experience are rooted in the situation, not in the people involved. When stepfamilies in difficulty are provided with information and guidance in addressing issues specific to the stepfamily situation, they can go on to become stable, loving and healthy family environments.

A divided family often requires children to confront a set of challenges that children in intact families do not have to face. Children whose parents divorce must go from living in one world that seemed safe, to going back and forth between two homes that often feel like opposites.

It often becomes the child's job to synthesize these two worlds, when really it is the job of the parents. Learning parenting skills and coping strategies can help parents of any age avoid adopting abusive patterns of parenting in divorced and stepfamily situations.

It helps to understand what is normal in a stepfamily so you can accept things as they are or make changes when needed. Most stepfamilies must deal with these problems.

Divided loyalties: It is common for children in stepfamilies to feel torn in their loyalty between their biological parent and their step-parent. A child who accepts or loves a step-parent may feel that she or he is being disloyal to the first parent.

Belonging to two households: Even if children only visit the absent parent, they belong to two households with different rules, activities and values. This frequently causes problems after a visit. You may hear, "My real mom lets me do that."

Building relationships: Parents want a child to feel love, trust and respect for the stepparent, but these feelings often take years to develop. A child who is pushed to express affection that is not there may feel guilty or pressured.

Step-parent discipline: The new step-parent often feels that he or she can help a spouse by taking over some of the discipline. Most children, however, often resent step-parent discipline and say, or at least think, "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad."

Rivalry among stepsiblings: As much as parents want a happy family, rivalry between step-siblings is typical. Getting along with new brothers and sisters is more difficult than getting along with siblings in first-time families.

Here are some guidelines to make discipline easier.

• Let the biological parent handle most discipline during the first few years. Children accept guidance and discipline more easily from someone they trust, love and have lived with than from a newcomer. Allow the new step-parent to focus on building a strong relationship.

• Discuss rules and consequences as a couple. Talk about behavior problems and expectations with your new spouse. This allows the step-parent to be involved with discipline even though the biological parent deals directly with the child.

• Leave the step-parent in charge when the biological parent is gone. Tell your children before you leave that you have asked the stepparent to take over while you're away. This helps children understand that the step-parent simply carries out rules both parents have agreed upon. If possible, wait until the biological parent returns to enforce the consequences.

• Remember that a step-parent's ability to handle discipline improves with time. Allow time for a positive and loving relationship to develop before step-parents share equally in discipline. It may take longer with older children.

While facing these issues may be difficult, stepfamilies that make use of family, clergy, support groups and other community programs to help with the adjustment have a much higher chance of succeeding. It takes time and it takes hard work. Our children and consequently our future are worth the investment.

Sandra Leavitt is director of the Mount Emily Safe Center in La Grande.

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The morning of July 4, I went to Imbler for the parade. It is always a joy to my heart, but sadly, from where I sat I could see probably 40 people on either side of the street.

The color guard was the VFW post from, I believe, Union. With my wife's assistance I stood to my feet and saluted my flag as it passed. As I looked at the people watching the colors go by, I saw three people stand with their hand over their heart. For the rest, I guess it was just ho-hum, so what.

I remember as a boy, there was a parade on Memorial Day, Independence Day and Veterans Day. At that time it was called Armistice Day. I watched and wondered why all men watching the parade removed their hats. Why did many older men have tears in their eyes? I guess because we loved that Star Spangled Banner.

Today at a parade three out of about 40 people honored Old Glory. I love my flag, and I grieve for my countrymen to whom my flag is just a colored rag going by.

Roy Hills, Island City

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On June 12 I started the holiday fun camp put on by the city of La Grande.

I really enjoyed it. The camp was fun, the teachers were nice and the food was good.

I really hope they continue putting on camps like that. I think others that sign up will have a great time like me.

Ceira Hendon, 12, La Grande

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They were left beside the Minam highway. Beneath them were hard rocks and beside them loud cars roared past, but no car held a compassionate driver. No human pulled over to rescue them from certain death. Who knows how long they were there alone?

The fuzzy babies didn't know what they had done to deserve such treatment because they were only a few weeks old and barely able to walk. They couldn't even "mew" yet. But they could hiss, show their teeth and arch their bony little backs in an attempt to scare off an enemy, real or imagined.

They didn't realize how unthreatening a baby kitten with big round blue eyes really is. A hiss was the best they could do to protect themselves. The boldest little one sizzled with such force it nearly toppled him.

Hot sun baked down on them, but there was no water to quench their thirst, only hot rocks beneath their tender feet and a few prickly weeds beside the road. Round, scared eyes watched for their mama to rescue them, but she never came. Only the person who put them beside the road would know what had happened to Mama.

Sizzle must have been an aggressive baby, never last to nurse. He would have been the one to make a playful attack, and yet now when afraid he trembled.

Ziggie was the peaceful one, probably always the last to nurse, meekly letting Sizzle tumble him and nip his fluffy tail, his gray velvet ears, or anything else that moved. The tiger-striped Sizzle appeared bold, but he needed Ziggie to comfort him in his moments of fear.

Now on the lonely road the two gray babies huddled together, afraid of everything around them. Ziggie was the smallest, probably the runt of the litter. His tummy ached for Mama's warm milk, but there was none. There never would be again.

Then the road began to cool and darkness came. With no Mama to snuggle, the cool night air started to chill their wee bodies. Sizzle pressed close. Ziggie's big blue eyes watched into the night. An owl, 'coon or coyote could find them to be a delicious feast. They had no place to hide, no defense but a hiss.

Sizzle wiggled, snuggled and smacked his dry mouth while Ziggie just watched, but neither slept. By morning Sizzle still moved but Ziggie didn't. Hunger and cold had taken a toll. His little heart still beat but it wouldn't for long as coldness made his frail body rigid, his life easing toward death.

That next morning a car finally stopped and gentle hands picked them up and placed them in a box. "Can somebody do something for these kittens?" the man later said to a lady at the nearby town.

Having a gentle heart too, the lady said, "Well, you can leave the box with me and I'll try to give them to someone visiting my street booth. Since this is Riverfest day there should be lots of people passing."

Thus frantic little Sizzle and the nearly lifeless Ziggie again changed hands. Their cold empty box was placed in the shade of a bush with a second box over the top to keep them trapped. Now and then a big face peered in to look at them, but no food, warmth or Mama showed up. Sizzle hissed a lot.

"I think this little one may be dead," said the lady sadly as she held Ziggie's cold stiff tiny body. "If not it soon will be, but I have nothing more than cold water for them."

"Oh, no, that can't happen," said another gentle voice.

Sizzle felt his box move, another car ride, two more strange faces, another strange place, and still his only protection was his mighty hiss as Ziggie lay dying.

But food, healing sunshine, gentle hands and a warm wrap snuggling both little bodies together brought recovery. A fly tickled Ziggie's velvety kitten ear, causing a twitch. Finally his groggy blue eyes opened a crack to reveal life. He was coming back, strengthened by warm milk from a medicine dropper and the caress of sunshine.

For now they sleep with their tummies full, snuggled together in a warm nest in a tall cardboard box. The face that peers over the boxtop has become familiar and their fear is diminished. They are good babies, so glad to have food and warmth and a box of kitty litter, which they easily learned to use.

Sizzle found his purr and gave his mighty hiss a rest. He often sleeps with his little legs across his brother and licks food from Ziggie's face. They are at peace.

Today for them is good, but what will tomorrow hold?

Their future is unclear because their lives are totally dependent upon the humans they meet. Will someone find it in their heart to give them a permanent home? Or will they again take a trip in a box to some unknown destination that may bring death? Their story is not yet finished.

The sad thing is that their story is repeated often with the many tiny babies whom the world does not want.

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The problem of "unwanted animals" can best be avoided by neutering of pets. If that's not possible the rejected babies need to be given a chance at life by taking them to the pet shelter. The Louise M. McNeely Memorial Animal Shelter, 3212 Highway 30 in La Grande, is easily accessible.

Lynn Boss lives in the Elgin area.

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Catching up through the fog of chemotherapy, it just dawned on me that the new library downtown was named by the city council as the F. Maxine and Thomas Cook Memorial Library.

I am on the city library commission and we recommended that the building be named after the Cooks in gratitude for their $2.5 million gift but that the library itself remain named for the public who supports it with their tax dollars and patronage, that is, the La Grande Public Library.

After all, we do not name city police departments after people, why a library?

We built a new county building some years back, named it after Daniel Chaplin, and did not call it the Daniel Chaplin Assessor's Office. People should be able to find a library in their town that belongs to them by seeing the name "public" on the sign on the door.

As it stands now, the building will look like a research library for the ODS building next to it.

The state librarian, Jim Schepkke, made a firm recommendation to not change the name of our library and was supported by Aletha Bonebrake, head librarian in Baker City who started their library with a large single donor as well.

Academic libraries on university campuses often name libraries after people, but in the realm of public libraries supported by taxpayers' dollars, it is virtually unheard of.

I ask that the taxpayers of our city think this through and let the city council know that keeping the name La Grande Public Library reflects a commitment to our library that will support its collections and activities for years to come.

The word "public" is all of us.

Sharon Porter, La Grande

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Russel Sadler's editorial in The Observer July 8, "Voter Numbers Shrink'" raises many broad concerns about the future of democracy.

He concludes that among young non-voters their "corrosive, contemptuous attitudes towards the present government" are more of a problem for the future of democracy than their not voting.

I agree that alienation is a serious problem. However, I see there are at least two general causes of that alienation, 1. people in government not living up to people's expectations, Sadler's concern; and 2. people not being able to make sense of things in general.

I would argue that scoundrels and fallible human beings will always be with us in about the same proportion. Complexity, on the other hand, will only increase.

Because the human psychological need to make sense is so critical to people's functioning, we increasingly have a problem with alienation. In a world where opposing points of view each have some measure of truth, polar opposite theories can be selectively proven.

While this "brain-stuffing" technique may help many people function in a political party, many young people will find it intellectually dishonest. People outside the political mainstream, if they become desperate enough to make sense, may attach themselves to conspiracy theories that don't even require much proof.

Deep down, though, more and more people just don't know what to think, and tend to blame "up."

Any solution to political alienation will not only have to address civics education, but give young people the human psychological perspective on why and how we all tend to fool ourselves. Equally critical are the skills to deal with complexity using pencil and paper.

This will help young people in all areas of their lives, and the world will be better for it.

David Waln, Summerville

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Back on June 26 Mardi Ford wrote in The Observer of her irritation with "that darned robin."

Her robin needed to come take chirping lessons from the robin that blesses my neighborhood.

One day I was listening to this beautiful, melodic birdsong, so I wondered what bird was singing so beautifully. I followed the music to a tree behind our neighborhood mailboxes, and lo and behold, there on one of the lower branches was a robin just a-singing its heart out.

As I sat here writing this I perked up my ears and there was her song — singing harmony to the thunder rolling in the background.

Jacque Lee, Island City

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Summer is the season for barbecues, boating, swimming and camping. Mosquitoes also enjoy our outdoor activities, since it allows them to feed upon readily available human picnics.

Mosquitoes are more than the bane of backyard gatherings; they are the vessels in which West Nile Virus and other diseases infect their human hosts.

While there has been a lot of attention focused on Avian Flu, we are at a much greater risk for contracting West Nile Virus.

First discovered in 1937 in the West Nile district of Uganda, it reached New York City in 1999. That same year the first human cases were reported, and the disease has since spread like a tidal wave from the East Coast to the West Coast.

While public fear may far outweigh the actual risk, cases have been increasing yearly. WNV is definitely here to stay.

West Nile Virus is transmitted primarily by mosquito bites, however the possibility of tick bite transfer is currently under investigation. It can also be transmitted by mother's milk and blood transfusions, but blood donations are routinely checked for WNV and other diseases.

The virus flares up during the summer months and usually declines in the winter while mosquitoes hibernate. Carriers of the virus are birds, horses, cats, bats, chipmunks, skunks, squirrels and domestic rabbits.

Humans cannot contract the virus directly from these animals, but can from a mosquito that has drawn blood from them.

Infected birds are of primary concern, particularly ravens, crows, jays, magpies and sage grouse. If you notice a large number of these birds dead, notify the public health department or the state fish and wildlife authorities.

There is no human vaccine yet, but the majority of people who contract the virus will have no or mild symptoms. At worst, however, death and disability are possible.

West Nile infection, while mild for most people, can be fatal. Up to 80 percent of those infected with West Nile will show no signs of illness at all. Some people might get mild flu symptoms that include fever, headache, body aches, nausea, vomiting, swollen lymph glands and a skin rash on the chest, stomach and back.

Symptoms can last from a few days to several weeks and can linger if medical attention is not sought. A small percentage of people will get a severe illness. Approximately 1 person in 50 will develop encephalitis, an inflammation of the brain and spinal cord. Symptoms include high fever, headache, neck stiffness, stupor, disorientation, coma, tremors, convulsions, muscle weakness, vision loss, numbness and paralysis.

These symptoms can last several weeks and can result in permanent neurological damage or death. If you suspect you have symptoms of WNV, contact a physician for further examination.

Severe infections are more likely in older adults, but everyone is at risk and should take precautions to prevent further spread.

The growth rate for WNV in the U.S. far surpasses that in Europe. Currently the only preventive measure is to protect yourself and your family from mosquito bites.

Mosquito Precautions

• Avoid peak mosquito hours, dusk and dawn

• Wear light-colored clothing with socks, long sleeves and pants of loose, thick material during peak mosquito hours.

• Be sure to use effective insect repellents. Those containing DEET, Picaridin or oil of lemon eucalyptus are preferred. Follow the recommendations and reapply when needed.

• Install or repair window screens and seams. Be sure window screens and doors fit tightly to prevent mosquito access.

• Empty standing water from rain gutters, tires, buckets, flower pots, etc. Puncture holes in tire swings, empty wading pools and store on their sides when not in use.

• Replace water in pet dishes and bird baths weekly.

• If you have a pond on your property, consider using mosquito fish that eat mosquito eggs or mosquito-killing tablets.

• Notify pest control of severe infestations.

West Nile Virus is increasing in prevalence, and we will likely see many more cases statewide and nationally. While the risk for severe illness is low at the moment, the chance of severe complications and death is real.

Since WNV season is just getting started, this is the perfect time to take precautions by eliminating opportunities for mosquitoes to bite you. You should be the one enjoying summer picnics and not the mosquitoes.

Kyle Daley is volunteer coordinator for CHD, the Union County public health service provider.

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In her July 12 letter to The Observer, Sharon Porter questioned the wisdom of naming our new library in honor of its major benefactors, Maxine and Tom Cook.

I am president of the La Grande Community Library Foundation, which partnered with the La Grande City Council to raise funds to build the new library. The foundation recommended that the new library be named the F. Maxine and Thomas W. Cook Memorial Library in honor the the Cooks' financial gift that made it possible to build the library.

The council unanimously agreed. It is not just a building that Tom and Maxine helped build; it is a library, a long-held dream for Maxine.

Porter asked why we would name a library after someone when we don't name the police department after someone. The answer is pretty simple. No one left $2.5 million to build a new police department. The Cooks did leave that amount to build a library.

I don't believe the normal Joe is going to feel the need to announce they are going to the F. Maxine and Thomas W. Cook Memorial Library.

Porter states that the state librarian and the Baker librarian disagree with this council and this city's decision to name the library after ordinary residents. Why should we care about those outsiders' opinions on what we choose to do in our community.

But to suggest that the Cooks don't deserve this recognition is ludicrous. Maxine's touch is everywhere to be found. She loved this community and worked harder than anyone I have ever known to make it a better place.

Leave this honor in place. You can call it the library. I choose to call it the Cook Library, fully aware that it is a public library named in honor of two wonderful people, Maxine and Tom Cook.

Di Lyn Larsen-Hill, La Grande